Cynic in Spain

Real Life on the Costa del Sol

The art of writing

Damn clever those people who write horoscopes on a daily basis, no really, I mean it. As a writer I admire a well turned phrase perhaps more than the next man. It takes real skill to compose even one sentence which, whilst being open to interpretation and full of ambiguity, still remains understandable, meaningful and applicable to all who read it. This lot do 12 paragraphs of the stuff every day! Masters of their arcane craft, each and every one. One wonders what these mighty wordsmiths could achieve should they choose to exercise their prodigious talents on other, more worldly matters.

Political journalism, for instance, could be transformed. Imagine if, after each election, every party, nay every candidate, could be reported claiming a resounding victory regardless of whether they had won anything or not. Ah; is it possible that my esteemed colleagues are already moonlighting?

Sport then, they could run up the traditional after match football managers’ speech, who would then be able to explain to the fans how, in spite of a 4-0 defeat both he and his players had performed superbly. Wait a minute, a picture is beginning to emerge, I’m starting to suspect that there is more to this than meets the eye. Are there, perhaps, other aspects of our lives that are penned by this mystical clique?

Financial and business news? Shares up: good. Shares down: good. They’ve definitely got that covered.

Health and beauty issues? They probably invented the G Plan diet, the Atkins diet and whichever fad is currently the rage.

Legal Matters? Now there I’m sure that they must have authored every statute I’ve ever fallen foul of.

Is there nothing which does not fall under their insidious influence, have I stumbled across some dreadful conspiracy? As I browse through today’s paper looking for evidence, my horoscope catches my eye, ‘Without a holiday or change of career your health could suffer’. Is that a warning, a threat or merely sound advice, I’m not taking any risks, it’s down pen and off to the beach for me.

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